I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
