just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize