pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
