Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
