cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
