if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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