She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
