someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
