I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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