Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
