Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize