Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
