pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
