I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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