I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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