A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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