yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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