If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
