are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
