well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
