I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
