Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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