Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
