he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
