what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
