Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
