Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
