so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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