I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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