omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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