I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
