The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
