mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
