I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
