Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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