I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
