discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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