You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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