I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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