Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
