Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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