Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
