I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
