Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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