You're my little dorito
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
