Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
