What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize