Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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