hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
