I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
