Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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