Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Haym$ered

(734): View more from Michigan

turn off your phone and go to bed

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(540): View more from Virginia

This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

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(678): View more from Georgia

He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.

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(713): View more from Texas

You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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(803): View more from South Carolina

If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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(714): View more from California

Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.

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(360): View more from Washington

Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

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(708): View more from Illinois

NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS

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(410): View more from Maryland

When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.

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