Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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