we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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