We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize