I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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