My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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