Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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