People in love make me want to vomit
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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