All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
