and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
