home. puking in laundry basket.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
