It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
