You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
