I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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