He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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