obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The air was thick with penises
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
