my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
