I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
