"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
